46 - Smoking
Man I hate not having any nicotine for a while. It’s been 2 days since I last had a smoke and while it’s not horrible, for me, nicotine is still an addictive drug. I’ve quit smoking a few times, at least 2 times I quit for over 2 weeks, enough time to get all the nicotine out of my system. The reason I kept going back? Well I just liked it. You know I was going to write about something else, but let’s go over how I started smoking. So I started back when I was 19 maybe 20, I can’t remember exactly, but it was because of my friend. Now I’m not blaming my friend, it might have happened either way, plus it was my own choice. Anyways I picked my friend up from the airport after a school break and he wanted a smoke. He casually smoked cigarettes, and ended up picking up a pack of cloves. Cloves if you don’t know, are like normal cigarettes but have ground up cloves in them. When I was younger, maybe some time in middle school, my mom let me try a cigarette. It was fucking awful, I hated the taste and couldn’t understand how anyone started smoking them. But cloves I really liked the taste of. It wasn’t just the taste either, it was having something in my hand I could kinda fiddle with and the crackling sound whenever the ember hit a clove. I guess it just hit all the point to draw me in, the nicotine didn’t hurt either I guess. Well I smoked for a few years and I enjoyed it. In my head I didn’t mind taking on the health risks. I was doing something I liked in exchange for risking something bad happening to me, sounded fair to me. I ended up quitting for some reason though, but after a while I picked it back up because I had to go to court for something stupid. The stress of that got to me and I went back to smoking. I think I also quit when my wife first became pregnant but then picked it back up. I can’t remember, whatever. After my kid was born, I was careful where I smoked. I would make sure I wouldn’t smoke in the same room as him, and if both of us were in the car I’d keep windows open and have him on the opposite side of where I sat. I would also try to smoke outside on the porch if it wasn’t too cold out. Some person in my apartment started to complain, even though I was smoking on the porch like I was supposed to. I was told I had to go smoke out in the parking lot, after one day of it I was fed up. At that point I got an e-cig. I had one before a few years previously, but it was one of the little pen style ones and wasn’t very good. This time I got a bigger one, with a better battery and a bigger tank. It was nicer than the pen one, but it still didn’t really fill that hole. It didn’t help that I think the nicotine was too strong so it made me cough every time. Well I ended up going to a proper vape shop and dropped some money to get something way nicer. I got a battery pack, mod, with external batteries, so you could charge batteries while using other ones. I also got a RDA, rebuildable dripping atomizer. I feel in love with it. Not only was building my own coils cheaper and fun, but it tasted so much fuller. This was back when tanks weren't nearly as good as they are now, but I still prefer RDAs. I got really into building, you might have seen some of the stuff I’ve made on twitter. Also e-cigs look like they are not nearly as bad for you as normal smoking. There are no long term studies, but all the short term stuff points that way. Well maybe once I get some nicotine back in my system I’ll feel a little better. I’m waiting for my wife to send me a letter so I have my SS card and a proof of address so I can donate plasma. It’s kinda funny that this addiction turned into a hobby.
1/20/2017 6:43:22 PM

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