35 - Concept: Regret
Before I get into things I want to just complain a bit. So I could of interviewed with a company today, but my mother-in-law said she would be busy. Well turns out she got home an hour before I'd have to leave. Then I tried to set up an interview for Friday, but she wasn't sure if she would be busy I pressed her on the topic. Well I guess someone is coming by to fix a truck, and when I asked why would that make her busy, she just said, cause I'm paying. What? Finally we haven't had heat for 3-4 days, it was 52 inside till she finally called someone today. Okay, that out of the way, let's move on. I want to do a new thing today, concepts. Along with stories from my past, if nothing is going on that day, I want to pick some concept I find interesting and just talked about it. Sounds pretty interesting, don't you think? So regret, what is it? So it's defined something like, a sadness over a decision or missed opportunity, or a wanting to change something in the past. Now what often causes regret? Well I'd argue most of the time it comes from something that made you unhappy. That said, I'm going to say regret is a good thing, well can be a good thing. Okay so what do I mean? Well I've talked about it before, but mistakes are a good thing. I'd say most of the time regret is caused by a mistake, or a lack of knowledge. Let's focus on mistakes first. Someone once said, to err is human, and I'd agree. For any number of reasons, you will make mistakes, and the only way to get better is to learn from them. Once you feel regret, and you get over the sadness, you can figure out what went wrong. Think it over, was it your fault, would it of happened eventually, or anything like that? If that's the case why worry about it, it was out of your hands. Now if it was your fault, ask yourself, does it bother you, if so, maybe reflect and try to change yourself. If you made a mistake, and lived through it and made yourself a better person, maybe it wasn't all that bad. I'll give you an example. This is going to get personal. Near the start of college my girlfriend broke up with me. It was really rough on me, I got pretty depressed over it. But I got over it and I was able to reflect on it. I realised something, I am a selfish person. With that I was able to start to change myself, not much, but it was something. I still feel pain about it, but the pain reminds me not to be as selfish. But I'm okay with myself being a selfish person, I'm in a relationship now where we are more independent from each other, and it works. So it all worked out, plus who knows, maybe me and that girlfriend just weren't a fit, and we would've broken up anyways. Before I said regret could happen from not knowing something. Well this could be a mistake. Maybe you made a decision before you were ready. But what about something you couldn't have known, you made a gamble with all you could've known. Well that's a non issue. It will bite, but there's nothing you can do about it. Maybe you can learn how to not get into a situation like that again. So I think regret is very important. It drives us, and should be only temporary. I welcome regret now, I learn something. I still feel sad about it, but I can move past it to figure out, how can this never happen again. Obviously I'm not going to make a mistake on purpose, but when it happens I analysis it. Not only that, but life is better with sadness! What could I mean by that? Well let's look at the opposite, think of a story (book, video game, movie, whatever) that is really sad. Before the sadness was it happy? I'm willing to bet the saddest stories you can think of started off happy. The reverse is true. What are peaks without troughs? So people who say they don't regret things have it wrong. You should regret things. It means you are trying, you are doing something with your life! Maybe regret is a bad term for this idea. Is regret still regret if you are happy about it? If you welcome the ability to grow as a person? I'm no ying-yang guy, but happiness and sadness are much closer than most think.
1/5/2017 6:55:47 PM